What’s Next? Driving Upside-down?

As Americans, it seems like we spend a lot of time and effort trying to improve situations around the globe. In recent years we helped Kuwait to battle Iraq's occupation, we got rid of Saddam Hussein, and we helped drive the Taliban regime out of Afghanistan.

Now it's time to turn our attention to countries where people drive on the wrong side of the road. We Americans drive on the right side of the road. That's why it's called the "right" side, for heaven's sake.

My feelings on this subject are based on our recent visit to Grand Cayman, where driving on the wrong side of the road is not only encouraged, it turns out it's the law! I discovered this peculiarity when I decided to rent a scooter there during our Christmas cruise.

I walked from the cruise ship terminal to the scooter rental place, and I was heavily concentrating on the fact that I was going to need to remember to drive the scooter on the left (or "wrong") side of the road. And when it was time to cross the street to the rental place, I looked to my right to check traffic, and I stepped directly into the path of an oncoming bus full of tourists in the other lane. Seriously.

I didn't get to hear whatever announcement the bus driver was making to the tourists while he was slamming on his brakes, but I'm sure it was along the lines of, "Look at this moron. I sure hope he's not going to go rent a scooter." I was just hoping that Mrs. Smoot and Little Smoot were not on that bus, since they were on their way to a tour at about that same time.

Anyway, I somehow managed to cross the rest of the street without dying, and I learned that I had to obtain a temporary Grand Cayman driver's license. I was very happy to learn that this did not involve a driving test, considering I couldn't even pass a walking test.

After signing enough documents to drain several pens of their ink, I was finally allowed to venture out on the scooter. "Remember to drive on the left," the friendly lady reminded me as I exited. Grand Cayman laws also require scooter operators to wear a helmet, so I spent the rest of my afternoon looking like Captain Dork. And after removing the headgear, I had a severe, non-flattering case of Helmet Head.

Anyway, I did a pretty good job of driving on the appropriate side of the road most of the time, and I managed not to drive over too many pedestrians along the way. I still think that once we get this Iraq thing under control, President-elect Obama really needs to give this region some serious thought.