Have Yourself a Pants-less Christmas

I don't know how you spent Christmas night, but I spent it wearing a bra and no pants in front of several hundred people this year. I've done this several times in the past, but never before on Christmas.

For some reason, when we go on a cruise I feel compelled to win every contest I can be involved in. I must say that I did quite well on our Christmas cruise – I won the ship's variation of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," which earned me numerous prizes that Mrs. Smoot was able to enjoy (a spa treatment, bingo cards, artwork, etc.). I won first place at the 80s "Name That Tune" competition (I tried to keep it a secret that I was a radio DJ for a good portion of the 80s).

I came in second place at the "Belly Flop Competition." I have placed second in that competition a few times before. I think if I would make just one more stop at the buffet line before the contest, one day I may come in first for that one. I came in third in the "Finish That Lyric" game. And that brings us to the popular "Quest" game.

Quest is the most awesome game ever. It's basically a scavenger hunt sort of thing, and you have to produce whatever items the host asks for, or do whatever the host asks, based on what you and your teammates have handy. They always start out pretty tame by asking for things like a credit card or comb, or whatever, but it escalates into an adult-themed event pretty quickly.

So by the end of the night, I was wearing lipstick, high heels, no shirt, a stranger's bra, all while carrying a purse. Alas, I have no photographic evidence of this, because Mrs. Smoot wasn't feeling well (or perhaps she was pretending not to feel well…) on Quest night, so I was there without the benefit of being photographed by anyone who knew me. The attached photo is one of me in similar attire from a previous cruise, just to give you a feel for what kind of whacky things I'll do in an effort to win a keychain (our group came in 2nd place this time. We won 1st place the last two cruises, so I guess I'm slipping a little).

I did, however, have the "benefit" of being videotaped by the ship's crew during the contest. And as a result, I had the pleasure of seeing myself in full Quest regalia as the cruise director showed a preview of the cruise's souvenir DVD at the ship's theater the last night of the trip. Mrs. Smoot just shook her head as she saw me in all of my feminine glory.

My philosophy is that I'll never see any of these people ever again, so what the heck.