Best. Invention. Ever.

I challenge you to come up with an invention over the past millennium that is better than NyQuil. Sure, the Internet was a pretty good one, God bless Al Gore. But even the Internet doesn’t make me feel as absolutely wonderful and as carefree as NyQuil does.

I’ve been teetering on the brink of catching my annual Fall Illness these past few days. Every autumn, as soon as the temperature outside begins to fluctuate by a few degrees, my body decides that it’s time to catch a cold. And I’ve been getting a hint of a scratchy sensation in my throat along with a slightly stuffy nose this week.

These past several years I’ve kinda been looking forward to this occasion, because it gives me the opportunity to ingest NyQuil on a daily basis without feeling like I’m doing it purely for the entertainment value it brings.

I am not an illicit drug user -- heck, I’ve never even smoked a cigarette before -- so I’m pretty naïve about the whole thing. But I must say I quite enjoy the sensation I get after a good swig of NyQuil (or “NQ” as we say on the street).

For one thing, it puts me right to sleep. I take a swig of it, I’ll feel a bit loopy for a short while and I'll spend some time jumping up and down going "WHEEEEEEE!", and then BAM! Out like a light. And once I’m asleep I tend to have some of the weirdest and most vivid dreams. Last night, for example, I was being chased by alligators at a tennis court. That never happens under the influence of, say, cheese.

I will admit that the morning after is always a bit rough, though. When the alarm goes off, I never have any idea where the heck I am, even though I’m in my own bed (unless of course I really was eaten by alligators, and in that case, who knows where I’d end up).

Well, I took a dose of it a few minutes ago, so needless to say, pretty soon I’ll be asdzxxkjcfgzkxjdgfadsalkkkkkkkkk