Progressively Annoying

I'm really not a violent person. But there's a part of me that really wants to inflict some sort of harm upon that obnoxious Progressive Insurance lady.

Surely you've seen the commercials. Some innocent person will wander into a spooky white room, and before they can figure out what's happening, this insanely chipper woman jumps out and starts assaulting them with gleeful salesmanship tactics.

If I were one of her victims, I'd most likely try to make a run for it, but I doubt it would work since she'd probably instantly attach herself to my leg. Because of her, I have already had to move all large solid objects away from my TV viewing area for fear that I'm going to throw something at the TV when she appears.

Here's another thing. In one of the commercials she talks about Progressive's "concierge claim service." Have you noticed how the advertising industry has latched onto the word "concierge" nowadays?

The dictionary defines concierge as, "A staff member of a hotel or apartment complex who assists guests or residents, as by handling the storage of luggage, taking and delivering messages, and making reservations for tours." But now concierge means "annoying person who will continually call you by your first name as though you've known each other for years, and who will quickly drive you insane."

Bah.