I Think I Hear My Bushes Snickering

I bet that at least one of our newspaper delivery dudes hides out in the bushes every morning because he enjoys watching me search for the newspaper.

We get three daily papers (one of which comes in the regular mail, so I can generally expect to find it in the mailbox). The other two are delivered by Mystery Delivery Dudes in the early hours of the morning, and they certainly can be creative.

One of the newspapers routinely winds up underneath my car. That drives me nuts, frankly. Sure, first thing in the morning, I'd just love to crawl under my car to find the newspaper! What a fun way to wake up in the morning! Wheeee! Other times I'll find one in the bushes, probably just a few bushes down from where the delivery dude is hiding out to watch me.

I also find it somewhat ironic that on perfectly dry days, the newspaper will be wrapped in six or seven of those giant plastic newspaper condom things… but if it's raining out, they'll just use a single one. On those days I have to forensically dismantle the soggy paper and then reconstruct it, similar to how they reconstruct plane crashes and whatnot.

I'm going to start getting into the habit of kicking each bush as I walk out in the morning, just to see if any of them scream.