It could just be yet another sign of my rapidly increasing age here, but I have to admit that Facebook scares me. I signed up for it a while back, for some bizarre reason. I don't really remember quite why I did that, but I think I was mainly interested in seeing who else I could find there. Or maybe it was a midlife crisis thing where I was just trying to be cool.
In any event, I have an account, and somehow or other I have managed to accumulate a list of 60 "friends." There have been actual instances where old acquaintances of mine have tracked me down and contacted me through the site. That part of Facebook is pretty cool, I will admit.
The scary part is that I have no idea what exactly I'm supposed to do with my profile, or the massive list of weird things that appear on my page. For example, as we speak, I have a "Christmas ornament request," a "duck duck goose request," and a "stickers request," among many others. I have no idea what any of that means, or if I should be concerned about the fact that I've ignored all of these things. Why do they keep showing up, anyway?
Worse, I have a bunch of very scary sounding invitations, like an "elven blood invitation," a "blood lust invitation," two "mob war invitations," a "gangster battle invitation," and a "superpoke invitation." I must admit that the idea of superpoking someone sounds like fun, if not downright kinky. But I really have no idea what I'm supposed to do in response to any of this.
I just have this eerie feeling that someone is going to show up at my door someday, wearing a suit and dark glasses and a Facebook nametag, threatening to break my thumbs because I didn't show up for my gangster battle. I live in constant fear.
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