Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Thou Shalt Not Weed

So I was outside yesterday, dealing with various weeds that have infested our property, and I got to thinking: "What if, by removing these weeds, I am committing a variety of sins?"

Every year around this time, Mrs. Smoot will start getting after me about various weed issues. We have some shrubs in the front of the house, and weeds are always coming up around them no matter how hard I try to thwart them. And let's not even mention the hillside behind the house, which basically amounts to several hundred square feet of nothing but weeds.

I've tried all sorts of things to get rid of the weeds. I have put down landscaping fabric and covered it with mulch in an attempt to keep sunlight from reaching the weeds. At night, if you listen closely, you can hear the weeds out there with their tiny little scissors, clipping little holes for themselves to grow through.

I've probably used more chemicals on our weeds than Saddam Hussein used against the Kurds.

Anyway, I got to thinking about it yesterday. Who put these weeds here? God, that's who. I sure didn't do it. He obviously wants these weeds to be here, considering how He keeps putting more of them in as I keep removing them.

There's the whole "Thou Shalt Not Kill" clause in the 10 Commandments, right? It doesn't say who or what you're not supposed to kill, specifically. The weeds are obviously His creation, and He is probably sitting up there sighing and rolling His eyes every time He sees me outside spraying, picking, stomping and smothering them. And He's probably not pleased with the language He hears me using toward them, either.

So if you drive by the Smoot house and you see lots of weeds, please keep that in mind. It's not that I'm lazy or looking for easy excuses to get out of this type of yard work. God wants it that way.

1 comment:

Hoosaid Dat said...

Playing the "God card" - what a great way to avoid yard work. I'll bet Mrs. Smoot will have a different interpretation of that commandment.