The Fruity Killer

I admit it: I'm a mass murderer. I've been on a killing spree for several days, and I'm not sure when I'll be satisfied. It's these stupid little fruit flies. They're driving me insane.

We've been contending with a nasty stink bug problem as I mentioned in an earlier post, but now we seem to have these stupid little flies whizzing around the house, particularly around the kitchen. I'm not sure what may have invited them in, although we're suspicious of the tomatoes we had on the counter earlier in the week.

What's worse, there are times that I am only imagining that there are fruit flies, in addition to the actual ones that we have in the house. You know those "floaters" that are in our eyes. Well, sometimes one of those things will float through my field of vision, and I'll think it's a fruit fly. Very annoying.

I think I've gotten the upper hand on these little monsters, and in a way that's a bummer because eradicating them is just getting to be fun. I read somewhere on the web that one way of killing these flies is to chase them down with the vacuum cleaner. Not only is it easier to catch the flies this way, but let's face it, it's kinda fun.

Our neighbors probably think that I'm on some sort of cleaning kick because every few minutes they hear me fire up the vacuum cleaner. If they were to peer in the window, though, they'd see that I was striking a pose with the vacuum cleaner's hose, and that I was spinning around with ferocity in an attempt to catch bugs in mid-air.

I think I look just like one of the Ghostbusters, except that they had actual proton packs that shoot out special effects rays; I have a Kirby, which "really sucks," pardon the language. It does really suck, though. I've sucked a lot of the bugs off the ceiling and walls, but I get the most satisfaction out of the ones I can suck right out of the air. Just before they get inhaled into the vacuum, I enjoy watching their futile attempt to escape.

Uh oh, someone's going to again suggest that I should get sensitivity training...

In the meantime, I'm hoping I won't get confused and accidentally vacuum one of my eyeballs out.