Mower Tip #132

Here is today's official tip for lawn mowing: No matter how shiny and attractive it may be, do not attempt to mow over a large metal object.

Trust me on that one.

I was mowing our neighbor's yard a couple weeks ago, and I ignored this common tip, and managed to demolish a water pipe thing that stuck out of her yard. When I hit it, the mower came to a rather abrupt stop, and pieces of the water cap were quickly shooting skyward. Some of them are probably still orbiting the Earth as we speak.

Surprisingly, the mower did start up and I was able to continue mowing the yard. It was sputtering and rattling quite a bit, though. If the mower were able to talk (and thank goodness it can't) it would probably have said something like, "Nice work, genius."

I decided to do what I always do when I need manly help. I called our former neighbor, who is able to fix anything and everything. To keep his anonymity intact, for this blog entry I'll call him "Kevin," even though his name is actually Hubert.

"Kevin" was able to diagnose the problem just by hearing what I had done, and generously offered to pound some sense into the mower for me.

Over the years, Hubert -- er... "Kevin" -- has fixed probably dozens of items for me because I'm completely inept at this sort of thing. As if it isn't bad enough that I can't fix these things on my own, I have actually made him a fresh batch of cookies in the past as thanks for his work. Maybe I'll send him flowers this time.

Anyway, I would like to publicly thank him for once again coming to the rescue. The mower is working remarkably well, and I promise to make an effort to avoid the shiny obstacles in the future. The flowers are in the mail.