Catching a Wave

Well, the local swimming pool is open, at least some of the time. We've had some lousy weather this week, and they're also doing some renovations at the pool that have kept the doors shut for a few days.

I have developed a new strategy this year when it comes to revealing my taut body at the pool. When I visit the pool nowadays with Little Smoot I'll first survey the pool deck area to be sure that there's at least one person there who is much more enormous and more flabby than I am. That way, they can be the ones who are gawked at, instead of me.

Thankfully our pool has several people who more than generously fit that bill. In fact, there's one couple who are so gigantic that the water level rises several inches upon their entry. They even create tides with their collective gravitational pull. So, thanks to them, I am able to feel less embarrassed about being at the pool.

I have found it interesting to listen to some of the conversations people have at the pool. There's one guy in particular who is always whining about something, and he does it at a volume that makes it hard not to be eavesdropping.

The other day he was complaining because his kids were kicked out of our local amusement park because they were "flipping the bird" while riding a water ride. He told the story several times, so I know it pretty much by heart: "Can you believe those idiots at Kennywood threw the boys out for flipping people off on the Raging Rapids!? That cost me over 100 bucks!"

It was very hard for me to control my urge to speak up and suggest that maybe, just maybe Kennywood wasn't the guilty party here. Maybe, perhaps, if your kids had some shred of sense, they might consider that flipping the bird at a family amusement park isn't the best thing to be doing.

And maybe, just maybe, as a parent you should be pretty ticked off at your kids. And, as unthinkable as this might be, perhaps you could blame yourself for being a pretty lame parent if the lackies at Kennywood had to take it into their own hands to discipline your kids because you don't know enough to teach them how to act in public.

But I digress...