Nu Shooz

I think I'm due for a new pair of shoes. When I walk with my current pair, it sounds as though I'm stepping on an angry duck every time my left foot hits the ground. I had similar problems with my right foot recently, although the right foot sounded more like I was stepping on a startled puppy.

For a while, it sounded pretty scary as I was walking down the street: Quack! Yelp! Quack! Yelp!

There is a trick that can stop shoes from squeaking sometimes. If you take the insole out and sprinkle some baby powder inside, the squeak oftentimes will go away. There's your hint from Aunt Hank today.

Anyway, that trick seemed to work on the right foot, so the puppies are safe. But the ducks are persisting.

So I think it's time to maybe invest in some new shoes for Spring. At least this is an easy task for me. I just go to the store and grab a size 9 1/2 pair of white Nike Air Monarchs. There's no point in me trying anything else on, since this is what I always end up with. I must have 10 pairs of these shoes around the house in various stages of rotting.

When I finally get a new pair of shoes, all of the older pairs take a step down the priority list. The new shoes will be my "everyday shoes" that I wear most of the time. The previous pair will step down to be used just for hiking. The pair before that will be designated for lawn mowing. The ones before that will be used solely for walking through sewage, if for some reason I get the urge to do so.

I'm just thankful I'm not a woman, because it seems that I would be spending a huge amount of time worrying about shoes. As I look at the entrance to our house, it appears that Imelda Marcos has been renting a room from us, or some such thing. Mrs. Smoot seems to have a different pair of shoes so that she can go a whole year without wearing the same pair twice. Little Smoot seems to be accumulating her share, too.

I'll stick with my Nikes.