Another Step Closer to Manhood

I am shopping for a toolbox. I know that most people would consider this to be a pretty non-eventful thing, but most people have at least a shred of manual dexterity, too.

People who know me know that I'm not exactly Mr. Handy. When something breaks, my typical response is to give it a proper burial and buy a new one of whatever it was. This approach isn't such a bad thing when it comes to, say, bird feeders, but it can be a little less pragmatic when it comes to cars and the house.

We have been homeowners for a little over a decade now, and somehow we have managed to accumulate a fairly large cache of tools in our basement. I honestly have no idea how we have obtained the majority of these things (the Tool Fairy?). There are tools down there I don't even recognize, let alone know how to operate properly.

Over the years I have done an exceptionally lousy job of keeping these things organized. When I find a tool that has magically materialized in the house, my basic policy has been to simply toss it into the growing pile downstairs. The mound of mystical tools has been expanding to the point where it is getting more and more difficult to access our basement door.

Naturally this has resulted in some action on the part of Mrs. Smoot; namely, she has been hounding me about The Pile a few times a week in hopes that I'll actually do something about it. There's even a note to that effect posted prominently on our refrigerator.

I finally went down there to face The Pile the other day, and I started to weed through it in an attempt to give it some semblance of organization. I got rid of an entire Hefty bag of random things that I can't imagine will ever be useful. I sorted the rest of the stuff onto a table as best as I could, separating things into categories like "Long and Pointy," "Short and Round," and of course "Potentially Lethal."

I have come to the conclusion that in order to really organize these things, I am going to need an actual toolbox, like ones you see in the basements of real men. I do have a couple little toolboxes around, but many of them still have a "Fisher Price" label on them. I'll probably need something more substantial.

I went to our local hardware store, but I didn't find one that I liked right off the bat. I want one that has lots of fancy little drawers and stuff. And it would sure be a blessing if the Tool Fairly would stop by and put all of these things into their rightful places for me.