Pet Ownership vs. Serious Mental Issues

I am all for having a pet. Heck, we have a pet, come to think of it. I can't help but notice that there are some number of people out there who seem to seriously think that their pets have human qualities, and they treat them as such. There's definitely a fine line between pet ownership and mental illness, that's all I'm saying.

Some people carry on about their pets to the point where I honestly think they should seek some sort of professional help. I know a woman who takes this all to a new level. She's a nice enough person, but her life clearly revolves around this little pesky dog.

It's not even one of those dogs that a normal person would enjoy. It's one of those easily-excited dogs that will start yapping at you, and it will bounce up and down and up and down and up and down until you hope that the owner looks away long enough that you can kick the stupid thing out of the way. Not that I would necessarily do that, of course, but I can't say that the thought hasn't crossed my mind.

The first clue that the owner might be a little whacko is the simple fact that they think it's cute that the dog is bouncing all over you, rather than giving the stupid thing a kick themselves. I'd be mortified if our cat started bouncing all over someone who obviously wasn't enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Another serious mental illness clue is when the owner talks about the dog's aspirations in life. This woman often says things like, "Fifi is really looking forward to her obedience class tonight!" Really? How the heck do you know? Did she tell you this? Perhaps she e-mailed it from her computer?

Speaking of which, there's another sign that a pet owner has lost it. This same woman has established her own Facebook account for her dog, amongst other web sites. I know the dog has been taking some sort of training but I really doubt that typing is one of them, what with the obvious lack of opposable thumbs and everything.

And let's not even talk about people who dress their animals up in clothes, no matter what the occasion.

Well, I have to run. The cat just told me he wants to go watch the Travel Channel.