Famous? Schmamous.

There are some people in the world that are famous, but for the life of me I can’t quite understand why. Paris Hilton is an obvious example, but at least she has some redeeming qualities in the sense of being rather easy on the eyes.

Let’s review a few others. Kathie Lee Gifford is certainly a prime example. Our local NBC affiliate replays the Today Show during the afternoon. When it comes on I have to quickly scramble for the TV remote for fear of losing brain cells with each additional second of exposure to her. What qualities does she have that qualify her to be rich and famous? Surely most anyone can sit in front of a camera and giggle about various things. Come to think of it, I actually met her one time several years ago. That probably accounts for much of my brain loss.

Dr. Phil is another one. I caught the tail end of yesterday’s show as I was waiting for our local news to start. The theme of the show was shoplifting. Insightful as always, Dr. Phil suggested to his guests that shoplifting was wrong, and perhaps they should change their ways. Amazing stuff. I can't help but think that if I had a show my advice could potentially be just as helpful. If I had a guest on my show and he had been convicted for beating the elderly, I'd tell him, "Stop beating the elderly!" Pretty much on par with Dr. Phil's insightful help, I think.

Then there’s that Jared guy from the Subway commercials. He lost weight by eating sandwiches from Subway, and now he’s filthy rich. There’s just something about him that makes me want to inflict physical harm upon him. I've eaten plenty of subs at subway, and they certainly haven't made me all svelt and fit. Come to think of it, eating their subs haven't made me famous either.