Knock Knock...

I seem to have woken up to a bit of a dilemma this morning. Since Little Smoot didn’t have school today, we slept in a bit. When I got up, I looked out the window and I could see that well-dressed young people are knocking on our neighbors’ doors, which can’t be good news.

Presumably these are either Jehovah’s Witnesses, or they’re selling vacuum cleaners. Or both… who knows? And no offense to them, but I’m uncomfortable dealing with either of those situations because they both tend to have trouble taking “no” as a valid answer.

Usually I can do a fine job of pretending not to be home. The problem is that today is also Garbage Day, so I need to somehow sneak out of the house long enough to get our bags to the curb without being detected by the Jehovah Vacuum People. The garbage truck could be here at any moment. If these folks are observant, they’ll undoubtedly detect that I am home, so I have to develop Plan B.

One time, as Plan B, I pretended that I don’t speak English, which just isn’t very convincing on my part. I can’t fake a foreign accent without laughing, so that gives it away right there, unless I pretend to be from a country where people giggle a lot for no apparent reason.

Another strategy might be to simply keep the garbage for an extra week, but things are going to get a bit nasty in the aroma department around here. Well, I’d write more about this dilemma, but if I don’t come up with something soon, I may wind up with a religion that sucks (get it… vacuum cleaner? Sucks? Never mind…)