Wakka wakka wakka

If you want to feel incredibly old, I highly recommend playing video games with a child.

Little Smoot just got a new game for her Playstation 2, Spyro Dawn of the Dragon. Unfortunately, it supports a two-player mode, so she talked me into playing it with her the other day. I had no freakin’ clue in the world what I was doing. There were times where she told me I was “doing a good job,” but to be honest, I was just poking at random buttons very quickly. And I think she was just patronizing me.

She’d tell me “Hit the R2 button and make sure you change weapons or you’ll run out of breath!” Sure, honey, I’ll get right on that.

I really hate to admit it, but video games have just kinda passed me by. Back in the olden days, I used to create my own games on the super sophisticated Commodore Vic 20. Granted, I’d always get to a certain point with my development of a game where something didn’t work and I’d be stuck. Then I’d say the heck with it.

As a result, I developed a swell series of “Video Games You Can’t Lose.” I created a version of Pac Man where you could gobble up all of the dots on the screen, but I couldn’t figure out how to get the ghosts to chase the Pac Man. So I eliminated the ghosts entirely. You could go through and eat the dots and not suffer any consequences at all. And you could actually eat through the playing board, making it easier yet.

I also developed a wonderful version of Pole Position (a road racing game) where you drove a car on a perfectly straight road, and there were no other cars. No matter what, you came in first place every time. Ahhh, those were the days.