Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Whoa... a Blog Entry!

It has been brought to my attention that I have not made a blog entry now for a month.  A few weeks ago Mrs. Smoot asked me why I hadn't been blogging, and I pointed out that practically nobody had been commenting on any of my blitherings, which probably meant that nobody was reading any of this crap in the first place.

Well, to my shock, I had dinner last night with some friends who had apparently all noticed that I had not been blogging lately.  (The few people gathered around that table undoubtedly make up 99.9% of the totality of readers I have accumulated over the course of my blogging career.)

Anyway, another person at the table has a blog that she has not bothered updating since August (and that posting basically said, "Wow, sorry I haven't blogged since April!"), so it was rather ironic that she was the one to point out my lapse, while looking at me with one of her eyebrows raised well into her forehead.

We decided to have a contest to see which one of us would be the first to update their blog, which I figured I could win easily, even if I put it off for a few more weeks.  But alas, she beat me to the punch by posting an "I WON" message on her blog last night.  Lame, but a victory nonetheless.

So that brings me to my additional list of excuses for why I haven't blogged for so long.  One possible explanation is that I got confused when it was time to change my clocks for Daylight Savings Time.  Instead of winding the clock back an hour, I accidentally skipped my calendar ahead by a month.  Therefore, I have no November blog entries.

I'm not sure that excuse entirely makes sense.  So let's go with my backup excuse.  I've been spending about 95% of my recent weeks unclogging our stupid toilets.  This one is actually pretty realistic.

Our house was built in the 90s, and there is actually a law that newer houses can only install "low flow" toilets instead of the older ones that used more water.  The result is that these toilets can never quite handle the load, and I wind up clogging them all the time.  I can clog a toilet merely by performing a bodily function commonly known as "#1," let alone the much more complex processes of higher numbered bodily functions.

So I have become intimately familiar with our plunger, and I spend a whole heck of a lot of time with it.  I even made a song about it:  "Poop, poop, poop... flush, flush, flush... clog, clog, clog... plunge, plunge, plunge..." It has a nice beat to it.

Anyhow, I'll try to make a more sincere effort at keeping this updated a little better, because everyone is obviously deeply concerned about the issues that affect my life, such as our toilet problems.

5 comments:

Eric Gaston said...

I wondered what was going on with your lack of posting. Next time I'll know you're probably just stuck in the bathroom.

Hoosaid Dat said...

Hey, I wasn't invited to that dinner so I guess I'm the .1% that didn't post.

I just figured you were too busy setting up your Christmas Lights Extravaganza.

Hank W. Smoot said...

Hoosaid, you're a very big .1%, though.

Anonymous said...

'Shitty' entry, Alan, but still better than mine. I'm happy with my victory, though!

Happy to see you blogging again :)

L

Hoosaid Dat said...

Isn't .1% the level of alcohol in your blood that declares you legally drunk?