Mistakes on the Lake

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's seeing happy people from Cleveland.  Clevlanders are not supposed to be happy.  They're certainly not supposed to be jubilant. And most certainly not ecstatic.  But that was indeed the scene last night as the Steelers lost to the Browns.

The Steelers absolutely suck this year.  There's no doubt about that.  They have obviously opted to take this season off after winning the Super Bowl last year.  I get that.  No big deal.  We lost last night, and that was that.  But the Cleveland people acted as though they had just won every major award given to people on planet Earth.

They were dancing around, kissing each other on their putrid little lips, and in general acting like barking morons.

I honestly hope that many of them are waking up today (probably on the street, covered in their own bodily fluids, I'm guessing), and they're coming to the realization that they really don't have a whole heck of a lot to be excited about.

I mean, woop-de-doo... they are now 2-11!  They have won two games this year.  Get out the champagne!  The Steelers suck, sure, but 2-11?  I could probably get a better record with a team consisting of myself and some of my high school friends, while under the influence of NyQuil.

As I was walking back to my car (while wearing a Steelers coat), I had a few unnecessary encounters with some of Cleveland's finest thinkers.  As I was crossing a street, a guy rolled his window down and said, "HEY!  When is your next playoff game!? Ha ha ha!"  I immediately considered several witty comebacks, including:

-- "I'm surprised you're familiar with the concept of playoffs."
-- "You're 2-11 for heaven's sake.  If I were you, I'd continue driving straight into Lake Erie."
-- "C'mon... your team was mathematically eliminated from playoff contention during the pre-season."

I kept my response brief, though:  "When was your last playoff game?"  Of course, that confused him and he went speeding off down the street, presumably to splash into Lake Erie.

As I was driving out of town, another guy made a point of rolling his window down (it as 14 degrees out) so he could offer me a popular obscene hand gesture, apparently based on the fact that my car has a Pennyslvania license plate.  I assume that another mile or so down the road his arm probably froze off, but I'm sure he was still very proud of making such a witty and though-provoking statement in my direction.

Anyway, I would like to think that things are getting back to normal up there on the Mistake on the Lake.  The Steelers may stink at the moment, but we know it's a temporary thing.  Cleveland will always be... well... Cleveland.