Friday, May 7, 2010

Where Does One Go From Here?

I have finally accomplished my life goal, which brings me to the obvious question:  What now?

It is disturbing to think that I have achieved the one thing that I have always wanted to do -- peeing in every state -- and here I am at age 42 with no specific goal or direction ahead of me.

I have written about my urination goal before, and of course I was able to get it crossed off the list while we were visiting Hawaii.  The actual location of this milestone is depicted in the picture on the right, with my apologies to those who think that peeing outdoors is disgusting.  I can't help but ask those people where they think their pee eventually ends up, or if they really believe that it's always going to be carefully stored right there below the toilet.

Anyway, I wish I could have somehow managed to go a few extra days without peeing on our trip, because it would have been the most awesomeist thing ever if I could have polished off my 50th state by peeing in the "World's Most Scenic Urinal."  Seriously.

Feel free to Google it if you don't believe me, but the World's Most Scenic Urinal is located on the Big Island of Hawaii, in the community of Kealakekua, and it lives up to its reputation!  It's located in the Kona Hotel, which is a pretty run-down place.  I'm guessing that they established this urinal as a way of encouraging people to stop peeing randomly in the lobby or parking lot, because those places are certainly gross enough that you wouldn't necessarily feel bad about peeing there.

For me, this pit stop was like visiting Mecca.  I approached it slowly, as though it was a religious shrine, and I savored every moment of the view as I took care of business.  I was able to see the Kona coastline and community, and even a great view of our ship in the distance.

In addition to the men's urinal, there was a toilet for women with an equally scenic view out the window.  But unless you had an unusually flexible neck, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the view while takin' care of business since it was aimed toward the door.

So anyhow, I'm wondering what I should possibly do next as a new life goal.  Several people have suggested that I take care of peeing in all US territories, which I suppose is something worth trying for.  There was some talk about the possibility of Puerto Rico becoming a US state, which would make it a mandatory pee visit for me, but I don't know if that's going to happen.

I guess I'm open to suggestions, which I would kinda prefer didn't relate to peeing in various places.  Feel free to sound off with your ideas.  Mrs. Smoot would certainly agree that I need some new direction in life!

4 comments:

Hoosaid Dat said...

. . . set a goal to collect 5 lbs of belly button lint? (yours of course)

Hank W. Smoot said...

Does it have to be my own, really? It would be interesting to have a celebrity collection.

Anonymous said...

Only if you include earwax, also

Anonymous said...

Prior to this post, Mrs. Alohanonymous suggested all the US Territories. I'm sure there are lots of cool caches in Guam and Samoa.

-Alohanonymous