Tis the Season For Sneezin’

I never had any sort of allergy problem when I was growing up, but over the last few years I've apparently been trying to make up for lost time. Every year when the trees start to really turn green, I launch into a non-stop sneezing routine that will last about two weeks. People really enjoy being around me during this period of time, especially when sneezes erupt out of nowhere, before I'm able to cover my mouth.

I've been thinking about inventing some sort of sneeze helmet. It would work just like those sneeze shields they put on salad bars, but it would be portable so it could be worn on the head. It would also be disgusting, but that's beside the point.

I stopped by the pharmacy today to get my annual package of Claritin-D, which must be a really fancy drug because they make you show identification and sign some sort of release when you buy it. I often wonder what exactly people have done in the past that has created the need for the paperwork and ID. Did someone smoke the pills? Did someone stick one up each nostril and stop breathing? Who knows. I'm sure it was the work of a real genius that prompted the extra security.

In any case, I'll be popping one of these babies every day for a while. They don't have quite the same effect on me that NyQuil does, but I usually still feel kinda loopy when I take these things. Part of me thinks maybe I can fly… you know the feeling.

And now we have the whole Swine Flu fears on top of my allergies. As I am typing this, they're talking on the news about someone from our area possibly contracting this disease after returning from Mexico. I guess I'll have to pay attention to my sneezing to see if it sounds more like oinking.